Update

So i started to open up again... Although today i did isolate myself away from my friends at school. We where all sitting together and i couldn't take so i got up and walked away.

After my therapy session though i started to feel a little better. I was so open and honest and when i came home later on i told my aunt that i have acted out on my ED behaviors this week. I have been having so much trouble with my body image this week. I look in the mirror and i feel so disgusted and i hate what i see. I want to be thin. anything to be thin. i will poke at my theighs they touch and to me i hate it and it gross. My stomach needs to be flatter it could use some work.

But when i step back and realize how critical i am being of myself its sad that i let it get this far. I put my self down so harshly. People tell me your so pretty and beautiful and i have a hard time accepting it and taking it and letting myself believe it. Im hoping that with this therapy i can let these negative thoughts go, and i can learn to love myself again and learn to love my life. I want to find joy again and peace and happiness.

For right now i am going to take it one day at a time and make a serious goal for myself to make it this whole week without acting out on my ED behaviors i will let you guys know if i made it :))



A song about recovery by natalie grant. From what i have read she has also stuggled from bulimia as well. The song is called the real me.