So what do you do when it feels like your body is rebelling against you? What do you do when it feels like you just cant keep your head lifted up high?
Lately all i feel like is hell... Im not so sure counseling is even going to help me at this point. I feel so far gone again in my eating disorder. Nothing can stop me. But i want so badly for this hell to end. To stop hating myself.
I want to be able to look in the mirror and like what i See. Instead i see a girl who is unhappy. A girl who is lost and trying to hide it everyday. A girl who walks through her day trying to pretend like everything in her life is just dandy. Truth be told im struggling with my body. Im struggling to be able to be okay with food. Struggling with keeping up with my school work.
What will it take for me to just be okay??
Hi there, Nikol3 Mari3. I just read your blog, and to me, it's really inspiring. I can't say I know what you're going through, because I don't have bulimia, but...I don't know. I feel like I can help you somehow. You sound like a nice person who's going through a rough time. I can understand that anyway. And, yes, there's going to be some rough roads to recovery (just like you said on your last post). I can understand that too. But what I'm trying to say is, I believe if you set your mind to it, you can achieve anything. Focus on the positives instead of the negatives. Think of all of the reasons to love yourself. You seem really nice, you're a great writer, you love fanfiction (I read your profile. I'm a huge ff fan!), and also you're really brave. Take that into account. You're a brave person. I would never have had the guts to post about a recovery like you are right now. I guess that's why I feel so inspired by your Recovery Journal. Like I said, focus on the positives. I know it's not always possible but, if you do have an off day, just think of this saying:
ReplyDeleteWorry is just the photo booths where your negatives come out.
Believe me, do something you love to do, and sure enough, positive thoughts will come into play. Because, guess what? I BELIEVE IN YOU. I believe something great is coming your way in this recovering process. And I'll be cheering you on all along the way. You're welcome on my blog anytime. Please post soon!
Rugphan