We argue in my head. We go back and forth. The things she tells me are you know you want to. I'm here for you. You know I will make you feel better. Iv always been there for you. I'm the one who really cares about you.
I try to make her shut up but at times i really cant. She usually ends up winning but im trying so hard to change that.
She so abusive towards me and shes so mean and cruel.
I wish she would fuck off and just go away. Her name is MIA and shes my ED.
Iv struggled for 5 years now and it hasn't been easy. Iv been in and out of recovery. She just never really goes away. She has been apart of me for so long I just don't know how to let her go.
I have a mentor now and i have a new therapist and iv got some family support.
I'm hoping I can really kick this disease once and for all this time.
I'm starting to realize that I cant do this alone. Even though at times i feel so alone and no one understands this battle i am going through.
I know alot of people may not understand and i cant make them. All I can do is ask for their support and hope they are just there for me.
No comments:
Post a Comment